Posted 2 years ago

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Chuck Palahniuk, best known as the writer of Fight Club (though he is one of my topmost literary idols) came into town Wednesday evening for a reading and book signing promoting his new book Tell-All, hosted by WordFest. It sadly coincided with my return to Calgary from Phoenix—something I had initially not planned, and didn’t realise until after the trip was booked. I would kill or maim anyone to have the chance to meet him. Since I couldn’t make it, Rob (with whom I was originally intending on going) went with a friend of his with the promise that I’d get him to autograph a book for me. Palahniuk was only signing copies of his new book, and then personalizing it and doing an old book for the first 100 people in line. Rob was 7th. Rob ended up telling Palahniuk that I was down in Phoenix with a boy (as he put it, not a long-term boyfriend, but a “boy du jour”), and if only that were true. Palahniuk instead personalized the copy for me with the above autograph, telling me: “To Kris—I hope that at least he had a  huge dick!! :)  Get Fucked!!”. It was given on the promise that I would not eBay the book (as a lot of people inexplicably were going to do). Things I’ve therefore learned: My literary idol is amazing in ways I didn’t even think. I am more madly in love with Chuck Palahniuk than before. This is the greatest autograph ever. My literary idol thinks my life is far more exciting than it is. I wish my life were as awesome as this autograph implies. Still. This is the greatest. It’s on my shelf in a place of honour and I will treasure it forever. Also, Chuck Palahniuk, if you ever want to be that dick? Just give me a ring. Zoom Image

Chuck Palahniuk, best known as the writer of Fight Club (though he is one of my topmost literary idols) came into town Wednesday evening for a reading and book signing promoting his new book Tell-All, hosted by WordFest. It sadly coincided with my return to Calgary from Phoenix—something I had initially not planned, and didn’t realise until after the trip was booked. I would kill or maim anyone to have the chance to meet him.

Since I couldn’t make it, Rob (with whom I was originally intending on going) went with a friend of his with the promise that I’d get him to autograph a book for me. Palahniuk was only signing copies of his new book, and then personalizing it and doing an old book for the first 100 people in line. Rob was 7th.

Rob ended up telling Palahniuk that I was down in Phoenix with a boy (as he put it, not a long-term boyfriend, but a “boy du jour”), and if only that were true. Palahniuk instead personalized the copy for me with the above autograph, telling me: “To Kris—I hope that at least he had a  huge dick!! :)  Get Fucked!!”. It was given on the promise that I would not eBay the book (as a lot of people inexplicably were going to do).

Things I’ve therefore learned:

  1. My literary idol is amazing in ways I didn’t even think.
  2. I am more madly in love with Chuck Palahniuk than before.
  3. This is the greatest autograph ever.
  4. My literary idol thinks my life is far more exciting than it is.
  5. I wish my life were as awesome as this autograph implies.

Still. This is the greatest. It’s on my shelf in a place of honour and I will treasure it forever. Also, Chuck Palahniuk, if you ever want to be that dick? Just give me a ring.

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