Posts tagged with Gender

Posted 6 months ago

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If gay were a choice, I’d choose gay

It’s well-documented that being gay is not a choice, and considering the one Xmas I received a calculator instead of a Tamagotchi, I’m pretty sure the power of prayer is even less effective at keeping me away from penises. But considering a hypothetical world where sexual orientation and gender identity were a choice, I can conclusively say that I would pick gay again, and again, and again.

“Why would anyone want to be gay if they had the choice?” I’ve heard this argument from queer folks and pitying straights alike who think that being gay (although innate) is a recipe for a difficult life of secrets and discrimination. And I’m not going to say that there aren’t struggles for queer individuals. We live in a largely unfriendly world, and even though there are wonderful people, and things are changing, the reality is that the world is not a wonderland for those on the rainbowy side of life.

But I’d rather ask, if we’re talking about your religious-socially-conservative version of heterosexuality as the alternative: who in their right mind would choose to be straight?

Your straightness is a culture of no. Living your life according to rigid sexual and gender roles to maintain your fragile sense of sexuality, gender, and self. As a man only willing to like sports, cars, beer, and objectifying women because you’re afraid that your love of ballet would somehow destroy your straightness. Or declaring the very end of the world itself because your son painted his toenails pink or likes to play with makeup. Or making your worth directly correlated to your attractiveness or the fertility of your womb. Because your kind of straight tells you no, no you cannot do, like, enjoy, or want whatever is in your heart.

But gayness, queerness, is a culture of yes! Yes I can profess my deep-seated love of musical theatre and shirtless men dancing to electronic music. Yes I can also like sports, or fatty foods, or watching horror movies in my sweatpants.

And sexually? If I enjoy being pounded by a hairy man-beast while trussed up like a Christmas turkey, then god damn it our community will let me go for it. Because if you don’t like it, well then fuck you.

And we stand up for each other’s right to be individuals, to choose our own paths in life free from judgement, interference, or control. It might not be what I want per se, but if it’s how you are, then you damn well better be running down the street in spangly gold booty shorts shrieking Beyonce tunes at the top of your lungs and grabbing your genitals. Whether lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer, or whatever permutation under the umbrella you are, or if you’re our equally important straight allies, we are the ones who say YES. YES, BE YOURSELF!

Because it’s not just the fight for me to be fabulously gay, but the right for me to be fabulously, and unabashedly me no matter what that looks like.

Go ahead, tell me my life is sad and hard, and no one would or should want it. Because me, and all those with me, know who really has it hard, and we’ve got each other’s backs while you are busy stabbing your own.

So ask yourself again if being gay is a choice. Because if it were, then who would ever choose to be straight?

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Posted 11 months ago

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The most difficult part was taking these photos of bathroom doors without giving the impression that I’m a registered sex offender. Whatever the truth may be.

These are, inarguably, the greatest bathroom signs ever.

[Found at District, Calgary AB]

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Posted 1 year ago

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When walking by H&M today, I noticed this ad in the window. Although I don’t think it’s necessarily a gay-themed ad, it illustrates something rare in any media: physical closeness and affection between men. HomophobIc idiocy tells us that men should fear physical affections between one another to avoid being thought of as gay. I love this ad because in any form it illustrates homosocial affections and ads like this go a long way to deconstructing some of our taboo gender and sexual images. Bravo, H&M, bravo. Zoom Image

When walking by H&M today, I noticed this ad in the window. Although I don’t think it’s necessarily a gay-themed ad, it illustrates something rare in any media: physical closeness and affection between men. HomophobIc idiocy tells us that men should fear physical affections between one another to avoid being thought of as gay. I love this ad because in any form it illustrates homosocial affections and ads like this go a long way to deconstructing some of our taboo gender and sexual images. Bravo, H&M, bravo.

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Posted 1 year ago

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Ah, yes, the greatest of natural disasters: The Boobquake

A Iranian cleric declared that immodest dressing results in moral failings and earthquakes. To put this to the test, a blogger has suggested that women everywhere dress immodestly on April 26 to see if it indeeds triggers the much-feared boobquake.

What’s sad is this line of magical thinking isn’t limited to any one cause or disaster. Instead, religious leaders everywhere are quick to blame disasters both big and small on ridiculous causes: earthquake in Haiti? Deal with the devil. Priests molest thousands of children? It’s ‘cause they’re gay. Your governor-husband has an affair? It’s gay marriage’s fault.

You see? If there’s some problem in your life, or in the world at large, the easiest thing to do is engage in some heavy magical thinking until so wrapped up in your blanket of irrationality that you don’t even know what’s what anymore.

So I encourage everyone to think about Monday’s upcoming boobquake. Stepping back and looking at the crazy correlations some people draw, I am forced to think there can only be two possibilities:

  1. They are being disingenuous and pointing at the first thing they can think of to incite moral panic in order to deflect or (badly) make a point.
  2. They actually believe it.

To be honest, I’m not sure which is worse. Either they’re lying and they know it, or they actually are so deluded that they believe everything they’re saying. Both cases are pretty harrowing.

In this case (though all the rest are easily proven ridiculous), the worst thing is that we very much understand how earthquakes work. Apparently even the most basic grasp of plate tectonics is no match for some supernatural figure playing table hockey because boobs piss it off.

So this Monday we’ll see if we can really cause our magic boobquake. I’m not holding my breath. But if it does work, I can see some real potential in the power to induce calamity simply by flashing a little tit. Though I fear that there’d be a whole other level of ethical questionability for Girls Gone Wild. 

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